He's in Fashion

By this point, you should get that when I put up a

photo, chances are I'm being a dickhead with the

commentary. This time around, it's my turn.

A month ago, I had the opportunity to shoot some

photos for a Japanese clothing catalog with my friend

Hissa Igarashi (EE-sah ee-gah-RAH-shee). He's an

excellent photographer. For a hundred bucks, a free

lunch and a boatload of beers I'd damn-near pogo-stick

through the Holland Tunnel, but shit, all I had to do was

get some photos taken of me. And me...well...when the

world comes to an end, I'll be making sure my hair looks

good. Of course I was in.

The shirtless dude is Derek. He plays in an awesome

band called Soren Well. The chick pretending to play

the Fender Jaguar guitar was a total babe who was the

object of our affection the entire afternoon.

Looks like they lubed up Derek's chest with I Can't

Believe It's Not Butter spray. If that sounds gay, it's

because it is.

So here, we have Derek (top), Kevin (right in plaid) and

Jason (bottom in stripes), all of who are in Soren Well,

tripple dry-humping this babe as I look on with tear-strewn

eyes and pray she rolls over a tiny bit to her left. But I

got a ripped Ramones tee shirt, and vintage=cool.

You don't know shit about fashion, do you?

This was my first encounter with a bass guitar, pretty

much, but I still say the fake song we came up with was

rad. If you enlarge the photo, you can see the smirk on

my face because the situation is so ridiculous. How often

do you get to put a guitar-playing mouser babe wrapping

her legs around your head, and when will I realize that

sunglasses inside get you laid?

Derek regained control of the bass situation, but I started

singing on the mic (top left corner). I still remember what

I was belting the entire time: "Do you know where you

slept?/All your promises unkept/Oh no you just don't know/

Honey, you gotta go." I swear it sounded cool then, -sigh.-

Combat boots? Plaid? Graffiti in Greenpoint?

You oughta just delete your profile altogether,

because Jason's myspace photo is gonna rape yours

right outta the trauma center.

And remember, sunglasses are only for indoors.

Even lunch time was a fashion shoot, which was just fine.

I'd like to think I look cool like Paul Westerberg here,

but it is more likely that, to borrow from Stiv Bators,

"I've been caught with the meat in my mouth."

This looks like a movie poster

for a film I would call King Kong Leather,

but then I just think about how cool of a

metal band that would be.

Cigarettes, check. Tiny bicycle, check.

Converse, che- oh! What's this? Ed

Hardy edition cons?! As per usual, I

managed to blow it.

This is gonna be the promo photos for our future band,

The Valentine Sunsets. Look for our EP, Louder than

Tears, coming never.